In 2009, security staff at a Texas bank smelled something funny in the air and asked customers to evacuate the building because they suspected a carbon monoxide leak. Thirty-four people were rushed to hospital complaining of headaches and chest pains.
The problem: carbon monoxide is odorless, and the cause of this hysteria turned out to be a strong whiff of odd perfume worn by a customer.
But by announcing that there might be something harmful in the air, the security people created the context for people to think the worst – and they did.
So how can we help our children, so they don’t get caught up in wrong negative thinking?
One way is to help our children focus on the area of their strengths ….. the things they are good at, the things they enjoy, the things that make them feel strong.
Not only will they be less prone to negative thinking, but focusing on their strengths will help to increase their ability to pay attention, to develop a better working memory, and have an increased openness to new information.
So how do we identify the strengths our children have?
A good starting point is simply looking out for clues.
One of these is rapid learning.
In the context of a new challenge or a new environment something sparks their talent. Suddenly, their brain seems to light up as if a whole bank of switches were suddenly flicked to “on”. The speed at which they learn a new skill or gain new knowledge provides a telltale clue to the presence and power of an area of strength.
Another is timelessness.
If you have ever become so engrossed in an activity that you lost all track of time, it may have been because the activity engaged you at a deep, natural level – the level of a strength.
The poem “Work” by D.H.Lawrence says:
There is no point in work
D.H.Lawrence
unless it absorbs you
like an absorbing game.
If it doesn’t absorb you
if it’s never any fun,
don’t do it.
Often our strengths are “hiding in plain sight” but the rewards in seeking them out in our children are immense ….. and lifelong.
Why not set aside some time now to take note of the things that your children find absorbing, the things they seem to be naturally drawn to and the things they do really well?
Then help them to spend time doing these things …. using their strengths.
