One of the most valuable gifts we can offer our young people is the ability to navigate life’s challenges with resilience. Resilience isn’t a trait we are born with; rather, it’s a quality that can be nurtured and developed over time. In your roles as parents, caregivers, or mentors, you have a unique opportunity to help your young people lay the foundation for resilience during their formative years. This foundation equips them with the strength and adaptability necessary to weather inevitable failures and face negative emotions stemming from temporary setbacks.
Here are some practical steps you can take to help your young person build resilience.
1. Model Healthy Coping Strategies to Prepare for Challenging Situations
As a parent, caregiver, or mentor you are in a unique position to model and teach young people healthy strategies to respond to challenges and cultivate resilience.
Breathing Exercises
One of the easiest coping strategies to both model and teach is breathing exercises. Typically, when we experience stress or feel overwhelmed, our breathing rate increases, and we tend to take shallow breaths. Breathing exercises can be a great way to slow down our physiological response to stress and signal to our body and brain that we are safe and okay. Below are a few breathing exercises that you can demonstrate to your young person.
Belly Breathing
Belly Breathing is a state of breathing that is controlled by a large muscle in our body called the diaphragm. A belly breath is deeply inhaling and allowing the breath to fill your belly instead of just your lungs. By breathing deeply, we slow down our nervous system signalling to our brain to switch off the alarm system. To teach young people how to belly breathe, you can guide them through the following steps:
- Instruct them to place one hand on their chest and the other hand on their belly.
- Next, encourage them to take a slow, deep breath in through their nose for 3 seconds, allowing their belly to rise while keeping their chest relatively still.
- Ask them to hold that breath for 3 seconds and then instruct them to slowly exhale for 3 seconds through their mouth, allowing their belly to fall.
- Repeat this process for a few minutes.
To make this activity interactive, encourage your young person to imagine that with each inhale, they are gently inflating an imaginary balloon inside their belly. Then, on the exhale, invite them to blow the air into a real balloon. You can even turn it into a friendly competition, seeing who can take the deepest breath and blow the balloon up the largest.
Box Breathing
Box breathing is a technique that involves inhaling, holding the breath, exhaling, and then holding the breath again for equal counts. For example, you can instruct your young person to breathe in for a count of five, hold for a count of five, exhale for a count of five, and then hold again for a count of five. This is a rhythmic breathing pattern that slows down the nervous system.
Bunny Breaths
This activity might be more effective for younger children but remains highly effective. It is one of our personal favourites. Bunny breathing is taking three quick short sniffs in through your nose, like a bunny sniffing a flower. Then one big exhale through your mouth. Bunny breaths are particularly effective in helping young people reduce stress during moments of high anxiety or distress.
2. Encourage healthy habits
As a parent, caregiver, or mentor it is vital to encourage young people to be physically prepared to be resilient! Ensuring your young person is rested, well fed, physically active, and regulated can ensure that they have the necessary energy and effort to manage stressors that may come their way.
Prioritise Sleep
Getting enough sleep is not only vital for our physical health but also has a significant impact on our mental well-being. Research suggests that young people require 8 to 10 hours of quality sleep each night. It has also been shown that sufficient sleep improves mood regulation which makes it easier for young people to regulate their stress levels.
Brain Fuel
Our brain and gut have a close relationship. Research suggests that a healthy gut microbiome, which is influenced by the food we consume, can positively impact our mental health. This means that providing our brains with the right nutrients can increase our ability to cope with stress.
When we experience stress, our bodies enter a heightened state of arousal to keep us safe, which consumes a lot of energy. This is why fatigue and low energy levels are common symptoms of stress. By consuming nourishing foods, we gain a steady source of energy that enables us to cope with stressful situations more effectively, so that we can bounce back to optimal functioning (that is, be resilient!).
Promote Physical Activity
Did you know that physical activity is a natural stress reliever? When we exercise, our brains release endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin, commonly known as the “feel-good” chemicals into our bodies. These chemicals positively impact our overall well-being by boosting our mood and reducing feelings of stress. Regular physical activity helps to lower the amount of stress hormones in our bodies such as cortisol and adrenaline which are responsible for the physiological response to stress. Encourage your young person to engage in physical activities they enjoy, such as sports, dancing, hiking, or swimming.
Encourage Self-Care
Self-care is something we can all work on. In this busy and fast-paced world, we often forget to take time for ourselves, and this holds true for our young people as well. Self-care refers to doing the things we enjoy and love, as well as taking time to look after our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Numerous studies have highlighted the positive impact of self-care practices on stress reduction. Encouraging your young person to incorporate a daily self-care practice into their routine can have profound benefits. We have created a printable self-care calendar that not only offers some ideas for daily self-care practices but also encourages your young person to personalise it with their own ideas. Additionally, we have included an ‘affirmation station’ for them to write down self-affirmations, as a form of self-care. You can download our MiiND Self-Care calendar here.
3. Build Character Strengths
As a parent, caregiver, or mentor you can also help young people to identify, reflect on, and practise character strengths to cultivate resilience. Young people may not be aware of their unique strengths and how these may be applied to help them navigate tricky situations. Parents, caregivers, and mentors – this is where you can come in!
What are Character Strengths?
Firstly, it is important to understand what character strengths are, so that you can recognise, identify, and foster the strengths of your young person!
Character Strengths are the positive and morally valued aspects of your young person’s personality. These strengths include attributes like kindness, honesty and creativity. They represent the unique qualities that shape how they think, feel, and behave, ultimately defining their character and influencing their interactions with the world and the people around them.
Unlike fixed, genetically determined traits, character strengths are dynamic and can be learned and developed. As a parent, caregiver or mentor, you have a significant role to play in helping your young person recognise and cultivate these strengths. By doing so, you can enhance their personal growth and empower them to have a positive impact on those around them.
Character Strengths and Resilience
Research has identified that individuals who exhibit higher levels of specific character strength categories, which are comprised of several individual strengths, are more likely to report greater resilience. These character strengths fall into four categories:
1. Emotional Strengths
These include qualities like zest (enthusiasm and energy), bravery, love, social intelligence, hope, and humour. Young people with strong emotional strengths tend to have the energy, social support, and determination to handle tough situations, making them more resilient.
2. Strengths of Restraint (Balance)
This category include strengths like persistence, honesty, perspective, prudence, and self-regulation. These strengths help individuals regulate their behaviour when facing difficulties, which boosts resilience.
3. Intellectual Strengths
This category of strengths includes creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, and love of learning. These strengths are connected to gaining knowledge and problem-solving, which is valuable for dealing with challenges. Young people with strong intellectual strengths tend to be more resilient.
4. Interpersonal Strengths
These strengths involve kindness, teamwork, fairness, leadership, forgiveness, and modesty. They play a crucial role in maintaining positive relationships with others. Young people with strong interpersonal strengths are also more likely to be resilient (Martínez-Martí & Ruch, 2017).
Building Character Strengths
We can help young people develop their strengths by engaging in the following activities:
1. Identifying Character Strengths
Help your young person to identify their character strengths: They can discover these strengths through tools like the VIAInstitute Test, a simple free online tool. Alternatively, they can engage in a self-reflection exercise. You can download MiiND’s Strengths Reflection Worksheets by clicking on the images to access the resources.
2. Encouraging Storytelling
Encourage your young person to create short stories that explore how they can apply their character strengths to address daily challenges or enhance their relationships. For example, they can write a story about resolving a conflict with a friend, emphasising how qualities like kindness or curiosity can be employed to manage the situation.
3. Practise Makes Better
Encourage your young person to practice and build upon their strengths. This means encouraging your young person to intentionally apply and act on their character strengths. For example, you may encourage them to practise their bravery, by doing something new that makes them nervous or that they have never done before.
4. Cultivating a Growth Mindset
Resilience involves a healthy attitude toward failure and setbacks. As a parent, caregiver, or mentor you can help your young person to see past challenging experiences as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than viewing them as insurmountable obstacles. This attitude fosters a growth mindset, whereby young people learn to embrace challenges and continually seek self-improvement.
There are two different types of mindsets: a growth mindset or a fixed mindset. A growth mindset refers to the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. However, a fixed mindset refers to the belief that abilities and intelligence is innate and unchangeable. Compared to people with a fixed mindset, people with a growth mindset are more likely to embrace challenges, persevere through obstacles, and view failures as opportunities for learning and growth.
To help your young person develop a growth mindset:
1. Encourage Them to Embrace Challenges and Failures
Instead of avoiding difficulties or failures, encourage your young person to see the “difficulties or failures” as opportunities to learn and improve. Encourage your young person to approach challenges with curiosity and a willingness to learn, even if it means making mistakes.
2. Help Them Cultivate a Love for Learning
A growth mindset thrives on the desire to learn continuously. Encourage your young person to seek out opportunities to acquire new skills, knowledge, and experiences. Whether it's through school or hands-on experiences, every opportunity to learn contributes to a growth mindset.
3. Remind Them About Effort and Persistence
Remind your young person that effort, hard work, dedication, and persistence are necessary to succeed. When they encounter challenges, remind your young person that their effort is an investment in their personal growth, and it will lead to improvement over time.
4. Encourage Them to Embrace the Power of "Yet"
This is our favourite practical tip to help your young person develop a growth mindset (because it is easy to remember!). Whenever you catch your young person saying, "I can't do this," encourage them to add the word "yet" to the end of the statement. For example, encourage them to say, "I can't do this...yet." This one word enables a small yet powerful shift in perspective, reminding your young person that their abilities can develop with time and effort.
5. Highlight the Importance of Having Friends With a Growth Mindset
The people that surround your young person can greatly influence their mindset. Encourage your young person to seek out supportive, positive friends who encourage their personal growth and share their passion for learning.
5. Help your Young Person Develop Strong Social Connections
Research indicates that high quality friendships and increased social support in adolescence can promote resilience throughout adolescence and help young people later become resilient adults. These high-quality friendships can also provide adolescents opportunities to develop their social emotional skills, which have been shown to increase resilience.
As a parent, caregiver, or mentor you can help your young person recognise the importance of good quality friendships and build social connection. To do this, consider talking with your young person about what makes a good friend and encourage them to think about why friendships are important. In addition, you may encourage your young person to intentionally prioritise time to socialise and connect with their friends. If you feel your young person is becoming isolated or struggling to connect with other young people, help your young person to connect with community groups or extracurricular commitments that may provide an environment for them to explore new friendships.
You can also help your young person by ensuring that you set time aside to socially connect with them as a parent, caregiver, or mentor. This may involve prioritising quality time with your young person or engaging in regular discussions about topics that are meaningful to them.
Conclusion
Resilience is not a fixed trait but a skill that can be developed and fostered over time.
Resilience plays a critical role in a young person’s ability to cope with adversity, maintain mental health, build confidence, strengthen relationships, and lead fulfilling lives. As young people face their turbulent teens or experience the ups and downs of life, the power of resilience is evident in their capacity to bounce back stronger, face challenges head-on, and grow as individuals.
By investing in building and strengthening your young person’s resilience, either through modelling coping strategies and healthy habits or cultivating character strengths, we can better equip them to navigate life’s twists and turns with grace and confidence, ultimately achieving a more fulfilling, healthy, and satisfying life.
Reviewed by Dinusha Cragg (BSocSc(Psych)(Hons), MPsych(Clin), MAPS) and Ross Carlyon (BA, DipEd, Med Studies, DipSchoolAdmin).
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